\n
Every second Thursday, I send out my thoughts on intentionality and fulfillment in life. I share exclusive updates, intriguing ideas, and meaningful content recommendations.
\nToday: The year of discovery and how to be alone
\n\r
\nHey there!
\nHappy New Year! I hope you started 2022 on a high note. If not, it's no big deal. You know, a different digit on the calendar can be a great catalyst for a fresh start, but it's nothing more than an arbitrary, human-made concept.
\nIt sounds simple but we forget it all too often: Not every year but every day is great to start anew.
\n\"What resolutions do you have for the new year?\" a friend asked me as we approached the waterline to watch the fireworks and ring in 2022.
\n\"None,\" I told her. \"You?\"
\n\"Yeah, me neither. I always get disappointed. I make these big resolutions and a few weeks later I break them. They've never worked for me.\"
\nI certainly feel the same. And chances are, you do, too. Depending on the statistic you look at, 82% to 91% of New Year's resolutions fail. That's why I already described in a recent post, you shouldn't set goals and define your fears instead.
\nAnd I stumbled upon another remedy that I found in a terrific article by Niklas Göke.
\nHis take on New Year's resolutions: Define a theme for the new year.
\nThis is so powerful because the theme becomes a compass for every situation. You also don't put yourself under the pressure of any vanity metrics. The focus shifts from your achievements to your behavior. You concentrate on the process instead of the results.
\nHere's how to set your theme, according to Nik:
\nMy theme for 2022 is \"Discover.\"
\nI want to discover who I am, what kind of writer I want to be, and if I want to be a writer at all.
I want to discover my surroundings, where I want to live, and the people I want to spend my time with.
I want to discover what makes life worth living and how I can make the most of it.
What's your theme for 2022?
\nSomething else I want to discover this year is how to fight loneliness -- and, more importantly, how to be alone.
\nIt's funny because being alone is easy. Lock yourself in the bathroom, you're alone. Run away from your friends, you're alone. Drive into the desert, you're alone.
\nBut the skill of being alone? Ah, that's a different story. What we're really asking is how to be alone without being lonely. Because solitude can happen to anyone. No amount of followers on Instagram can protect you. I don't want to sound dramatic, but there will come a day when your friends and family are not there for you and you're all alone.
\nThe good news: Solitude is a skill that can be learned. At least that's what Sara Maitland argues in How to Be Alone -- one of my favorite books on this topic. \"The best treatment for a non-clinical fear of being alone,\" she writes, \"is learning more about it and exposing yourself to solitude, initially in very low ‘doses.’\"
\nHere are some of my favorite strategies:
\nHere's one of my favorite videos on loneliness. It'll help you see loneliness and solitude in a different light.
\n\n | \n |
\nWhen was the last time you wanted to be alone? And I don't mean that out of desperation to recharge your social battery. But instead, out of pure joy to be with your own thoughts, feelings, dreams, and aspirations.
\nTry to be alone this year, just a little bit.
\n
\nUntil next time,
\nLeo
\n
\nBonus: friend links to newest blog posts
\n
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Today: The year of discovery and how to be alone
Hey there!
Happy New Year! I hope you started 2022 on a high note. If not, it's no big deal. You know, a different digit on the calendar can be a great catalyst for a fresh start, but it's nothing more than an arbitrary, human-made concept.
It sounds simple but we forget it all too often: Not every year but every day is great to start anew.
"What resolutions do you have for the new year?" a friend asked me as we approached the waterline to watch the fireworks and ring in 2022.
"None," I told her. "You?"
"Yeah, me neither. I always get disappointed. I make these big resolutions and a few weeks later I break them. They've never worked for me."
I certainly feel the same. And chances are, you do, too. Depending on the statistic you look at, 82% to 91% of New Year's resolutions fail. That's why I already described in a recent post, you shouldn't set goals and define your fears instead.
And I stumbled upon another remedy that I found in a terrific article by Niklas Göke.
His take on New Year's resolutions: Define a theme for the new year.
This is so powerful because the theme becomes a compass for every situation. You also don't put yourself under the pressure of any vanity metrics. The focus shifts from your achievements to your behavior. You concentrate on the process instead of the results.
Here's how to set your theme, according to Nik:
My theme for 2022 is "Discover."
I want to discover who I am, what kind of writer I want to be, and if I want to be a writer at all.
I want to discover my surroundings, where I want to live, and the people I want to spend my time with.
I want to discover what makes life worth living and how I can make the most of it.
What's your theme for 2022?
Something else I want to discover this year is how to fight loneliness -- and, more importantly, how to be alone.
It's funny because being alone is easy. Lock yourself in the bathroom, you're alone. Run away from your friends, you're alone. Drive into the desert, you're alone.
But the skill of being alone? Ah, that's a different story. What we're really asking is how to be alone without being lonely. Because solitude can happen to anyone. No amount of followers on Instagram can protect you. I don't want to sound dramatic, but there will come a day when your friends and family are not there for you and you're all alone.
The good news: Solitude is a skill that can be learned. At least that's what Sara Maitland argues in How to Be Alone -- one of my favorite books on this topic. "The best treatment for a non-clinical fear of being alone," she writes, "is learning more about it and exposing yourself to solitude, initially in very low ‘doses.’"
Here are some of my favorite strategies:
Here's one of my favorite videos on loneliness. It'll help you see loneliness and solitude in a different light.
When was the last time you wanted to be alone? And I don't mean that out of desperation to recharge your social battery. But instead, out of pure joy to be with your own thoughts, feelings, dreams, and aspirations.
Try to be alone this year, just a little bit.
Until next time,
Leo
Bonus: friend links to newest blog posts
I'm an engineer turned writer turned philosophy student. Join my weekly-ish treasure hunt for ideas that make life a little less sucky. No soulless blah. No advice to get up at 5 am. Just some succinct (and often unconventional) thoughts. New posts every Thursday - if my writer's block allows it.
Hello! Before we dive in, some organizational stuff... First, I've seen a rich influx of new subscribers recently – thanks for being here! This newsletter is about becoming an Amateur. This typically includes ideas on half-assing more things, adopting a more effortless mindset, and embracing imperfections (as I'm trying to recover from my own perfectionistic tendencies). Also, it's where I give the occasional update on my writer's life. Of course, all this happens on a highly irregular...
Last week, I was sitting in the dimly lit bar of a hostel in Amsterdam, where I nursed a tulip-shaped glass of IPA, feeling thrilled to write. It was a child-like thrill, the type that rushes through your body right before ripping open a giant birthday present. And so, like unwrapping a present, I opened up my laptop, created a new document, and found... ...nothing. Suddenly, I stared at an aggressively blinking cursor on a blank laptop screen. It occurred to me that, surely, no one would...
Hi, my name is Stephan, and I’m an amateur. No, I’m not having yet another existential quarter-life crisis. I’m actually doing better than ever, creatively speaking. And here’s why. For well over three years (!), this newsletter was called Thoughtful Thursday. There are several reasons I baptized my literary baby like this. First, I wanted the name to sound smart (duh). Second, I wanted it to be an alliteration (ostensibly, a modern writer’s favorite stylistic device). But, of course, these...